Are Marriage and Kids Essential for a Full Life?

Are Marriage and Kids Essential for a Full Life?

I was at a wedding a couple of months ago, and the first thing that someone asked me was “When are you having to settle down and having kids?” I’ve had to have more than a few conversations with my family about how that isn’t my top priority right now—and I’m not sure if it ever will be. I like kids, and having a partner I can count on is always a wonderful feeling. But do I have the urge to have a huge wedding and have children? Not necessarily, and definitely not right now.

I was also asked, when I did my usual dance around the subject of marriage and kids, what exactly I planned to do with my life if I didn’t have children. “Won’t you be bored? That would just be terrible.” I’ve also been told that not having children is selfish of me, that there will be no one to take care of me when I’m old, and that I am missing out by not having children. My favorite lately has been, “but you’d be such a great mom! You have to have kids!”

There is a lot of pressure on women to settle down and have children, which can be very difficult for women who are not sure if they want kids.

Here’s the thing, though: I don’t think that children are essential to having a full life. I don’t think that marriage is either. At the moment, I don’t have a desire to start building a family. That could change in the future if I find a partner where we share those dreams, but for me, I am happy and content to wake up, feed my pets, and work on my personal goals.

And travel. I love to travel. While it is not impossible to travel with children, it does put serious limits on how long you can travel and where you can go. This isn’t something I’m willing to give up just yet.

I have older friends who have a husband and kids, and friends in their mid-thirties who have stayed single, or who have a partner and chose not to have kids. Both are happy in their own way—and their priorities are very different. Everyone is stressed out about something in their lives. Some are stressed out because they have children and have to juggle work and raising their children, while the friends without kids are stressed because of work and other life commitments.

Both groups, though, are able to find a balance in their lives by taking the time to know what they need to get done and is committed to accomplishing their goals.

So are marriage and kids essential? No. It comes down to personal preference. Plenty of people today are happy without children, and plenty of people are happy with having children—it just depends on what each person’s dreams are.

I’m still working on personal growth and figuring out who I am. At the moment, this does not include being a mother. For some people, it is the exact opposite.

I am not ruling out having children, but I also know that I have time to decide if it fits the direction my life will take in the future. It is not a requirement for a full life, though. Plenty of men and women are choosing to stay unmarried or do not have children, and from what I’ve seen, they all have pretty full lives—just not in the traditional way.

Have you ever been struggled with living alone? Choosing the solo life can actually make your more available and explore the world around you. I totally recommend this book Living Alone and Loving It to anyone who is struggling with living alone and feeling like they just want someone to tell them what will help without the arrogance of a “you must do this for happiness.”This book says things that makes me think “yeah, I know exactly what you mean!!” I love the author and felt connected to her as I read through it.


Amy Nguyen

Amy Nguyen

I feel happy to share my experiences with you about Travel - Food - Life around the world. I hope to inspire you to Live-Love- Laugh :)



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